It was a partly cloudy day in August 2008. The waves of humidity had just started to bow down to the cool northern winds. The whole school campus was in a festive mood as Independence Day was nearing.
The teachers were running here and there followed by the so-called “popular students”. These popular students were equally loved and hated by other students. They were the ones who always managed to be the center of attraction.
The students participating in various programs —speeches, singing, and dancing- were provided rooms to practice. One such room happened to be my classroom. A group dance performance, led by one of the popular students, a girl, was being rehearsed there.
She was leading the group with such authority as if, one would assume, she was the epitome of perfection.
“Hey you, you are doing it all wrong again” the popular student yelled at one of the participants who was sweating profusely.
“Everybody!”, she announced shifting her attention to the group, “Listen to me very carefully. I have been given the responsibility to make sure that when you guys are up on the stage, you move as one and not like a bunch of monkeys running around”
Watching all this unfolding from a corner of the classroom, I was overwhelmed with jealousy, because, as much as I hate to admit it, I also had the ambition to become popular. However, I was too shy to enroll my name in any of the programs.
Seeing that the group was exhausted and her warnings were going unheard, her heart melted a little, and she announced, clapping her hands, “Okay guys, take five minutes of rest and we’ll start again”
All the participants dispersed and sat on the floor in a circle. The room stank of sweat, talcum powder, and hair oil. I stood up to go out and get some fresh air.
As I was about to exit the room, abrupt hooting shouts made me look. A boy had broken into dancing in the middle of the circle. The students around him were making those noises, including the leader of the group.
He was doing a slow hand wave. It was so clear and so smooth that I could practically see the steps involved in performing a hand wave. It felt almost like magic. I was watching with my mouth open, mesmerized by his moves.
What was even more tempting was all the attention and adulation he was getting; I had been wanting that for myself for quite a long time.
I had seen people dancing that well only in reality TV shows. Before this day, I subconsciously believed that some people are born with special abilities; and that I didn’t have it in me.
Seeing something seemingly impossible taking place changes everything. It shatters your old belief system.
It was one of the defining moments of my life.
That day, while watching him dancing with wishful eyes, I made a solemn vow to myself:
I am going to be a dancer; the best in the world.
On the way back home, I was possessed by a thought— how was I gonna learn to dance?
Back then there was no YouTube, not in India at least; and dancing classes weren’t exactly ubiquitous either. This is one of the many disadvantages of growing up in a small town.
That night I didn’t sleep, instead I waited until everyone in my home went to sleep. At around midnight, I sneaked out to the roof. The full moon above me was at its peak; the silence, broken only by the distant barking of dogs and the continued chirping of crickets, was inappropriately comfortable.
“It’s perfect” I smiled to myself, plugged in the earphones to my Samsung keypad phone, and hit ‘play’.
At first, it was hard as I could not get over the feeling of being watched; although no one was there to watch. I can’t be a nobody forever, said a voice in my head.
As night progressed so did my desire to be free from this sheepish person that I was. Eventually, I was able to gather the courage to let all my shame and fears go. With them gone came the ultimate hope I hadn’t felt in years.
I danced and danced and… I forgot where I was or, even for a short period, who I was. I think this is what dance is capable of -making a person forget oneself and live completely in the moment.
The euphoria I was getting out of this had become uncontainable at some point. So I also started to sing along. My throat was dry, but I didn’t stop; my feet began to give up, I didn’t stop; my t-shirt was drenched in sweat, I didn’t stop.
I was so in the moment that I lost track of how long I had been dancing until I noticed a red smear on the east horizon. The sun was up. Pulling the earphones off my ears, the first thing I heard was the sweet melody of birds chirping.
Everything about this morning was different. I felt like a king returning to his country after winning a battle.
Never in my life before this exact moment had the sunrise looked more beautiful, more crimson, more alive.
Watching the sun, slowly moving upward, I said playfully, “Where have you been, man? I’ve been dancing all night and you missed it” I began to laugh.
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